he puts the penis in happiness.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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