I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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