I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
