sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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