Well douche your snatch and let's go!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
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He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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