Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
