why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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