I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
