i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she smelled like a LAN party
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
