Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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