we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize