you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize