On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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