I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
