if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
