Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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