does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
