I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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