I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
