He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ttyl tear gas
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
