Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
