you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
