paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
