Got a toothbrush?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize