I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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