O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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