he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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