i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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