still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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