Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
