I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
