YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize