Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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