yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
