You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
