then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
