I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
