YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
