Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
