She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
