Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize