i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
