I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Drunk is a universal language darling
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
