I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so let's talk penis.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
