I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
