If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
