soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
