I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
