Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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