Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I party with great urgency now.
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