I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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