Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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