I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
