i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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