I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
