pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i drank out of a bidet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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