That's when you crack a 10am beer
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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