the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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