If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize