Don't make out with my wife yet
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
