I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
