There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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