let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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