There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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